i came back because i desperately need to vent.
for a while, my mom has been talking about moving out of california.for the first few years that she told os that, i was cool with it cos (1) i had little to no friends and hated everybody in the state, and (2) i hated california.
i was cool with it because...i had no emotional attatchments to anybody.no real deep ones, anyway.
now i have more friends and someone (outside of family) who i deeply care about.i know it sounds superflous for me to want to stay in a state for a boyfriend (of two months and three days,) but right now....is not the best time for moving.sure, we could do long-distance, but ppl in long distance relationships dont get to do the stuff they would if they where in the same place.I REALLY just wish that everything would work out so we could stay here (i know im being so selfish by saying that, but it's how i feel.)But if we had to move.....i would kinda like if he would be allowed to come with us.stupid, right? i know it is, but its the only way i could think of staying with me mom and bro, and still being able to see my boi everyday.i told him last night,and......well, his heart stopped (a hyperbole- not really) we ended....i ended up telling him stuff i was afraid to profess before last night- i.e. how much i really care about him.we came to the mutual agrement that we would like to be together for quite some time.honestly, i would like that a lot.and even though some might veiw my feelings as childish,as nothing but a teen infatuation,i dont feel that it is.what im feeling......isnt just physical.he's not just a boyfriend.i consider him a good friend as well.we spend a good portion of our time together talking.so, yea...its not lust.not infatuation.not a crush.and he has proven more than once that he requitea those feelings.he tells me everyday.he didnt know how much i .....dare i say the word(???) loved him until i finally just said it last night.i didnt say it before because i was afraid to.now im not.the last time i was afraid, my fears came to pass.im not afraid.im just going to have to beleive things will work out for me.
for a while, my mom has been talking about moving out of california.for the first few years that she told os that, i was cool with it cos (1) i had little to no friends and hated everybody in the state, and (2) i hated california.
i was cool with it because...i had no emotional attatchments to anybody.no real deep ones, anyway.
now i have more friends and someone (outside of family) who i deeply care about.i know it sounds superflous for me to want to stay in a state for a boyfriend (of two months and three days,) but right now....is not the best time for moving.sure, we could do long-distance, but ppl in long distance relationships dont get to do the stuff they would if they where in the same place.I REALLY just wish that everything would work out so we could stay here (i know im being so selfish by saying that, but it's how i feel.)But if we had to move.....i would kinda like if he would be allowed to come with us.stupid, right? i know it is, but its the only way i could think of staying with me mom and bro, and still being able to see my boi everyday.i told him last night,and......well, his heart stopped (a hyperbole- not really) we ended....i ended up telling him stuff i was afraid to profess before last night- i.e. how much i really care about him.we came to the mutual agrement that we would like to be together for quite some time.honestly, i would like that a lot.and even though some might veiw my feelings as childish,as nothing but a teen infatuation,i dont feel that it is.what im feeling......isnt just physical.he's not just a boyfriend.i consider him a good friend as well.we spend a good portion of our time together talking.so, yea...its not lust.not infatuation.not a crush.and he has proven more than once that he requitea those feelings.he tells me everyday.he didnt know how much i .....dare i say the word(???) loved him until i finally just said it last night.i didnt say it before because i was afraid to.now im not.the last time i was afraid, my fears came to pass.im not afraid.im just going to have to beleive things will work out for me.
posted by [insert name here] at 3:09 PM
1 Comments:
What happend? You linked to me, then removed it?
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